Thayer Literary Services ~ Book Editing

Funny stuff - page 4

Top 50 oxymorons

 

 

50. Act naturally

 

49. Found missing

 

48. Resident alien

 

47. Advanced BASIC

 

46. Genuine imitation

 

45. Airline Food

 

44. Good grief

 

43. Same difference

 

42. Almost exactly

 

41. Government organization

 

40. Sanitary landfill

 

39. Alone together

 

38. Legally drunk

 

37. Silent scream

 

36. American history

 

35. Living dead

 

34. Small crowd

 

33. Business ethics

 

32. Soft rock

 

31. Butt Head

 

30. Military Intelligence

 

29. Software documentation

 

28. New York culture

 

27. New classic

 

26. Sweet sorrow

 

25. Childproof

 

24. "Now, then ..."

 

23. Synthetic natural gas

 

21. Passive aggression

 

20. Taped live

 

19. Clearly misunderstood

 

18. Peace force

 

17. Extinct Life

 

16. Temporary tax increase

 

15. Computer jock

 

14. Plastic glasses

 

13. Terribly pleased

 

12. Computer security

 

11. Political science

 

10. Tight slacks

 

9. Definite maybe

 

8. Pretty ugly

 

7. Twelve-ounce pound cake

 

6. Diet ice cream

 

5. Rap music

 

4. Working vacation

 

3. Exact estimate

 

2. Religious tolerance

 

1. Microsoft Works

 

 

 

The Power of Punctuation

 

 

Dear John:

 

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.

 

You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy. Will you let me be yours?

 

Gloria

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Dear John:

 

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.

 

You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

 

Yours,

Gloria

 

 

 

 

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